What a year for a new year

Seems like a New Year’s Eve post should be reflective, and I’m not quite sure this will deliver in the realm of end-of-year posts. When I think about spending time considering the past year, honestly, this time I just don’t feel like doing it.

A fellow mama who’s had a hard year blogged yesterday her own gratefulness that she doesn’t have to live this year again. That was something I needed to hear. Maybe it sounds sad on the surface, but to me it read hope and future. I don’t really feel like conjuring gratefulness or ungratefulness for the year; I don’t feel like making a list of the ways I grew or have been forever changed; I don’t want to look back in bitterness, nor do I want to try seeing it as beauty because I owe it to Ava to to so. Not today, anyway.

Today, I just want to play with my kids and celebrate the fact that 2014 is over. I don’t have to live it again. It’s a good year for a new year.

It does seem fitting, however, that the last day of this year started with a phone call from the neurologist’s office. So I’m gonna throw the latest medical update in here, too, so I don’t have to start out the new year with it.

Ava’s MRI and EEG came back normal. The only thing the MRI showed was delayed myelination ….which as best as I understand it just means that the delays we see in Ava are, in fact, reflected in her brain development too. They are kind of a mirror to one another, so all it really does is affirm that she’s indeed delayed. It doesn’t really mean anything in regard to whether she will catch up or not. Apparently premies often have this myelinic delay as well. We’ll probably be doing another MRI in 6-12 months to see how the progress is, but right now there isn’t additional cause to be concerned about it. Just more motivation to keep doing therapy and helping her brain make all those pathways it needs to reach its full potential.

That aside, it’s been really nice to have a break from medical offices and phone calls this past week. I’m looking forward to a much shorter list of appointments (and no tests) in January. Life is a lot more fun when we don’t have to focus so much energy on the medical things.

We won’t have any more possible answers till the genetic & metabolic tests come back. They said it’ll be 3-8 weeks and there is only a 50% chance it’ll show us anything informative. So, perhaps it will provide some answers, or perhaps not. It’s not statistically something I’m going to sit on the edge of my seat for going into 2015.

Instead, I’ll just say…2015, I’m happy to meet you. I do hope we enjoy our time together a little more than your predecessor & I managed.

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