August in our world

It’s so hot here. This afternoon I was wrestling with a car seat in an unshaded therapy office parking lot at 4pm…no rain today…and I felt like I was going to melt right onto the pavement.
I don’t know what that has to do with anything, but sometimes it’s just the first thing you think of when you live in Florida in August.
My recent lack of posts comes from my lack of free hands, free brain space, free time. I’ve been sharing a bit over at the Orlando City Moms Blog, but otherwise I’m usually holding Isaiah, waiting on hold with a therapy/medical/insurance person re: Ava, or being held captive by the endless wellspring of “why” questions from my inquisitive Elijah.
So…what to tell you? We are grateful to be all together as a family. Our home is full of life, full of noise. We do a LOT of dishes. A LOT of laundry. We are tired.

Isaiah is, overall, doing great. He’s growing. A little slowly, but he’s growing. I’ve had to set aside my more selfish wish to breastfeed him to do what he needs most. Drinking is a lot of work for his lungs and he still gets winded often when he eats. He burns fewer calories drinking bottles, and we’re able to boost it with a little Neosure and his daily multivitamin, too. So, I pump milk for him almost exclusively. It’s a lot of work, but it’s helping him grow right now and that’s more important than what I want.

Ava is growing like crazy. She’s learning some communication skills, standing with help, and overall making a lot of progress in therapy. She’s also been having issues with reflux and vomiting since May. That’s right, May. Three months. Poor girl. I hesitate to share this in the wide world of interwebs, but if you want to know how we’re doing right now, this is how we’re doing. We’re cleaning up a lot of Pediasure Peptide. Troubleshooting this has been slow, tedious and so far unsuccessful.

These may seem like weird things to tell you in an update, maybe TMI. But if you actually want to know how we’re doing right now (and if you’re still reading, I guess you do!), then this is how we’re doing. A lot of pumped milk and Pediasure Peptide, and a lot of related plastic parts that need cleaning and sanitizing on a very regular basis.
No, wait.
That’s not how we’re doing. That’s WHAT we’re doing.
Not the same.
HOW we are doing is something else. I’m not quite sure how I am, except to say I know God is here with us and all of the milk and Pediasure and plastic. He’s here and he cares about us. I don’t believe God’s job is to fix all my present problems or make my life easy. But he is with us. And sometimes now when I am cleaning up another stinky mess I am asking God to fill me up with more of himself. More, God. I need more of you right now because I don’t feel like I can do this one more time.
Answers do not abound in our life, but we are asking God for more of himself.

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