What I need to do is create my OWN paperwork for Ava, where I can tell people what I think they actually need to get to know her.
The blog’s been quiet for a while.
Honestly, I haven’t been able to catch my breath much this spring to think about writing. I’ve also been writing a bit elsewhere
for fun, but even that I had to quit for now, because our home is in constant chaos and it’s just too much.
Isaiah has been home for A YEAR
. I really wanted to celebrate the anniversary of his homecoming this week. This year, it’s felt a lot more exciting to celebrate the date on his discharge papers—June 6—than the one on his birth certificate. But we never found space in our days to plan something, so the day came and went.
I’ve also not written much because it’s been a pretty melancholy season for me. Putting our current status in print hasn’t felt good, and I’m not sure how enjoyable it would be to read most of the time, either.
It’s been a year that’s felt like Groundhog Day…only without the plot arch to keep you intrigued.
One task keeping me busy all year has been paperwork.
We filled out tons of paperwork for Ava’s transition from early intervention to our county Pre-K disabilities program. And they gave us piles of paperwork back, spelling out in detail how she is in the > 0.1% for her abilities compared with her peers. (Except her social abilities—that was her highest-scoring area.) The kinds of goals we have to put on her IEP are important but…well, not very inspiring. She’s growing into a lot of really basic skills right now. We are very proud of her, but on paper, it’s…meh.
For me, the worst part of paperwork is that, at times, it’s the first introduction people have now to Ava. Plenty of people understand it’s “just paper,” but I still don’t like how it can loom like a cloud. Last fall we attempted to take her to a Buddy Break
—which I generally think is a great idea. As with everything, it involved a super-long, thorough form, in which I gave detailed answers about my girl. When I picked her up after her morning there, I found out they had put a movie on for her to watch the entire time. At that stage she wouldn’t even pay attention to movies…so she pretty much just sat there. I could’ve gotten plenty of friends or relatives to come over and put a movie on for her without spending an hour+ filling out paperwork.
I’m not sharing this to criticize our hosts. And that’s why I’m definitely not telling you which church it was. Because what I observed happening AROUND my daughter looked awesome. But on paper, she just sounds like she really can’t do much. Since they didn’t know her, I guess maybe they thought she wouldn’t do anything.? I was kind of confused.
Anyway, it got me thinking that what I need to do is create my OWN paperwork for Ava, where I can tell people what I think they need to know get to know her—not her feeding tube, meds and diagnoses, but her. It might sound something like this:
Ava is a bright-eyed, cheerful 3-year-old. She has long, soft, slippery hair that looks adorable in pigtails but she gets mad at me every morning for brushing it and it falls out after an hour. Her favorite book is Noisy Farm and she chooses it often on her picture cards. Sometimes grabbing a toy or making a choice takes her a little longer, but if you’re patient enough, you can learn to listen to Ava. She loves her stuffed giraffe and any other toys that vibrate or shake. Water makes her light up and laugh, and she holds the record in our home for water-splashing during bedtime. She will hold her brothers’ hands if they linger long enough to let her, and she gives great extended snuggle-hugs to her favorite people.
She can tell you what toy, book or food she wants if you give her the chance. Even though she wears hearing aids, her loss is just mild/moderate, so she can hear some things even when the ear molds fall out. She really likes music and playing with toy drums and bells. Her current favorite show is Lisa Loeb’s Nursery Rhyme Parade
. Her legs are getting strong and she can stand for a long time if you help her. For her third birthday, she got a “big girl bed” and loves to sprawl out in it. When she’s in the mood, she loves strawberries, crackers and pizza, and enjoys snatching her brothers’ cups. She’s growing long legs, dark lashes and has a great smile. She’s 100% beautiful and loved.